The Ultimate Hangover Cure

Feeling Rough? Let’s Fix That Hangover!

So, you woke up with a head that feels like LTHS marching band is parading through your brain, a mouth as dry as the Lukin soybean fields last fall, and a stomach doing the cha-cha against your will. Congratulations! You, my friend, are experiencing the time-honored tradition of a hangover.

Step 1: The Ritual of Regret

First things first: look in the mirror and give yourself a dramatic sigh. Bonus points for clutching your forehead and uttering, “Never again!” It’s not a cure, but it is tradition.

Step 2: The Hydration Olympics

Chug a glass of water, then chase it with another. If you’re feeling ambitious, throw in some sports drinks and pretend you’re a Red Hill athlete, bravely recovering from that winning basketball game.

Step 3: The Search for Grease

Seek out the greasiest breakfast you can find in Lawrence County. You know where to get it. Bacon, eggs, hash browns—if your cardiologist would faint, you’re on the right track. The science behind this is questionable, but the satisfaction is real.

Step 4: The Blanket Burrito

Wrap yourself in your coziest blanket. The goal? Achieve a level of comfort rivaled only by a burrito at Mi Casita restaurant. Optional: moan softly and debate the merits of moving versus staying put in your easy chair.

Step 5: The “Miracle” Cure

Some swear by coffee, and a few brave souls swear by ‘the hair of the dog’. Try one or the other, but be ready to admit that nothing actually works. Your only real hope is time… and maybe divine intervention, as Carl Curry would say.

Step 6: Finally The Distraction Technique

When all else fails, distract yourself. First sit down, get comfortable, and read some posts from our Lawrencelore blog. You’ll learn some local history and you’ll forget (at least for a moment) that your brain feels like scrambled eggs. Enjoy

Happy New Year, Donna and the Research Gang